Chapter Two: Why Did I do this to myself?

For reasons not worth mentioning, I ended up trekking home from San Francisco via train. Kelly did the smart thing, got on a plane and made it back to KC in four hours. But Kristen, the nut job you've all come to love, turned her return trip into a 48-hour Amtrak ride. (I did get an extra day in San Francisco. Trade-off?)

My schedule went a little like this:
Sunday, leave San Francisco on a bus at 7 a.m.
25 minutes later arrive in Emeryville, Calif.
4-hour train to Bakersfield, Calif.
2-hour bus ride to L.A.
2-hour layover at L.A. Union Station (get hit on by security guard)
36 hours later, arrive at Union Station in KC Tuesday morning



For two days I had a lot of alone time. As cheesy and cliché (ugh, saying cliché is so cliché) as it sounds, I spent the entire time en route to L.A., soul searching and in emotional thought. The remaining 40 hours I spent reading a lot of magazines and completing a word search puzzle booklet a guy gave me on the train. Though it was with hesitation before I decided to accept the book; he weirded me out a little. I think it was because of what he randomly started pulling out of his backpack – a very used cordless phone and a pair of spurs that got tangled in his earbuds that were connected to his SpongeBob Squarepants mp3 player.

Show and tell time aside, many thoughts ran through my head and the time spent alone was not as painful and drawn out as I anticipated. Though I was really stretching for ideas to keep myself entertained, I decided to take inventory of my internal commentary over the next 24 hours to share with you.

~A Twitter account would have come in handy on this trip.

~Why am I so terrified of getting trapped in the bathroom on this train?

~Apple juice over ice is absolutely delicious.

~I’m so lonely.

~Oh no! I’ve had my contacts in for three days.

~I have never heard anyone snore as loud as the man across the aisle.

~I’m moving to San Francisco.

~I think I may have lost weight on this trip. Who loses weight on vacation?

~I think I’m being followed…

~I seriously thought I saw Zachary Levi in L.A. It wasn’t him.

~What is a polliwog?

~Was it considered racist that I said “Sitting Indian Style” out loud while I was in New Mexico?

~I am becoming a hat person. I received a million compliments on my hat.

~I wonder how annoyed my friends are that I keep constantly texting them? I’m lonely people, talk to me!

~What in the hell?! I didn’t know there was a secret leg compartment under the seats. That would have made my first night of slumber on the train a bit more comfortable.

~Can I pull of red lipstick?

Yes, people, I took notes on my thoughts, how lame am I? Especially when I had my brother’s dvd player and I never once turned it on. What is wrong with me?! (That was part of my soul searching, to figure out what in the world is wrong with me.)